Hi everyone, in this video I share my bullying story. I’ve coped, I’m very confident in myself and I’m happy despite the bullies. You can be too.
Hi everyone, in today’s video I’m going to talk about bullying and tell you my story and also give you tips on how to handle bullying. My bullying story started at school.
I’ve always been abit different, not really someone who fits in and at school obviously you have loads of different groups that people fit into. I wasn’t popular, but I wasn’t unpopular, I was just the an oddity basically.
The reason I was like that as well was because I was one of those students who really enjoyed studying, so obviously when you are at school that’s not a popular thing to enjoy doing.
I was also really, really shy and awkward around people. Which meant that I didn’t have that many friends.
People who know me from the past are really surprised that I’m actually even doing Youtube videos, because I was so quiet that people didn’t really get to know me and didn’t want to get to know me because I was just so awkward.
It’s only when I left school that I started becoming more confident in myself because I realised that there were other people who were different and they were happy and just getting on with their lives.
My mother also wasn’t very well when I was studying, so I used to stay at home and help to look after the other children who were younger than me.
So obviously that didn’t help my social life and I spent alot of time, reading, writing, which is now why I really love books.
I remember even at school sometimes, there were times where the whole class weren’t speaking to me, all the girls that is, not the guys, just the girls. And I didn’t know why, and that really dented my self-confidence because when you’re young you just want to be liked.
When I look back now, I realise that they were just projecting their fears onto me. It wasn’t that I’d done anything in particular, but I was just an easy target because I was always by myself or always reading a book.
So obviously I stuck out, like a sore thumb. I wish that I could say that as I got older and left school I found people like me and that gave me confidence. But that didn’t really happen because I wasn’t really the type to always go out and be sociable and be loud.
How I got over the bullying was just by learning to accept myself as I am, and to love myself as I am. I didn’t look out for external sources, other people to tell me that I was good enough, my parents always said to me just do your best and your best is good enough.
And one day that just clicked with me. I just thought I’m not doing anything nasty, I’m not being catty, I’m not joining in these little gangs and picking on people, I’m just being myself.
And that gave me confidence because I realised other people couldn’t do that, they always needed to be with other people, especially with girls, you know girls like hanging out in little groups.
So that gave me confidence that I could just be myself. Even when I went to work the bullying didn’t really stop because I worked in a female dominated industry and that’s just how it is, they’re just very cliquey and if you’re new, they give those, you know those hard tests to see if you can fit in with them.
So it still continued. So again, I had to be confident in myself, I had to believe in myself, because nobody else was on my team, nobody else believed in me.
I was fortunate in that I had a really loving family who all loved me to bits and believed in me, were supportive, even now they’re very very supportive.
So I was quite fortunate that I had that at least to keep me going and also to boost my self esteem. So I’d say that the moral of the tale is that if you are being bullied, the reason you’re feeling unhappy and lacking self confidence is because you’re putting alot of time and effort into thinking about what other people think of you.
Once you let go of that, once you let go of that ‘I wonder what people think of me,’ ‘I wonder if so and so likes me,’ ‘I wonder if this group will let me let me join,’ you then become more confident in yourself and then begin to like yourself no matter what other people say about you.
I’d say that’s what gives me the gravitas to be able to do self help videos, videos that show people how to love themselves, how to be confident, how to know whether you’re being treated badly in a relationship or well, how to demand to be treated well in a relationship.
My own experience’s have shaped me and made me a very confident person, so I’m hoping that if I share my tips, they can also help somebody else who’s perhaps feeling lonely or bullied or feels like nobody is on their side.
You don’t need somebody on your side, the only person you’re with a hundred percent of the time is yourself, as long as you’ve got yourself on your side, you’ll be fine.
So don’t be harsh with yourself, don’t whenever you do something wrong start beating yourself up and thinking ‘oh I’m not good enough, I shouldn’t have done that,’ be gentle with yourself, be gentle with yourself the same way as you’re gentle with other people, because love starts from yourself, if you can’t love yourself, other people won’t love you either.
Gosh I’m getting all emotional thinking back, so I’m going to finish this video and hopefully I’ll post it.
So I just want to say, if you’re being bullied, don’t take it as a reflection of you as a person, it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person.
Be strong and believe in yourself, if I can do it, so can you.
So if you liked this video and want to be part of this positive co-creation, click like, subscribe, share the video and comment below. Bye!